Yes, I am fully aware that I have dropped the blog ball, if you will. But lucky for you, it’s because I’m being selective. You see, I put a lot of pressure on myself to be creative. I don’t want to blog just for the sake of saying I blogged. There needs to be a little entertainment value in here somewhere. I mean, I am asking you to waste 5 minutes of your life for the read. Recently, my creative juices have been tapped other places, and the blog has gotten the shaft. But here we are, and here we go.
This year on Spring Break, we journeyed west. It was quite the pilgrimage. It’s a “family” trip, but truth be told, it’s a mixed family trip. A hodge podge of characters, personalities, agendas, plans, schedules, appetites, etc. You pile 18 people in one house, and tell me there is no drama or conflict.
Now, I’m starting to feel like we’re getting to that point of this conversation, where I can feel you squirming in your seats, checking your watch, and praying to GOD I don’t pull out the slide projector, and explain in detail what we did on our Spring Break vacation. So, I’ll ease your mind right now, that’s not where this is going. So sit back, relax, and stop thinking so much. Do you really think I would bring you here to bore you over the interpersonal dynamics of my Spring Break trip? Come on, you know me better than that.
So, what should we talk about? What do we want to know? Lets do this, how about, in no particular order, I just give you my general impressions, of what I learned on Spring Break? Soooooooooooooouuunnnnnd Good?
1. Having GPS on your phone, automatically mutilates your body’s interior sixth sense of direction.
Look, this is just fact. I have been to Los Angeles and it’s surrounding areas, many times, and by “many”, I mean six times. The longest stay was 8 days, the shortest stay was 3 days. Until this year, I have NEVER had a GPS system on me, while I’m trying to navigate my way around SoCal. And each time, I never struggled at getting my bearings and becoming my own guide……….until this trip. You see, the day before the trip, I received this little toy called, the iphone. And with this iphone, came a nifty little app, called MAPS. For some reason, this became my Sacagawea. Well, because this little toy was doing all the thinking for me, I became a mindless driver, simply going where I was being led, you know, kind of like most you people drive around every day. But you don’t understand. My internal guidance system is a gift, it’s rare, only seen in some civilizations in people that are most likely given the nicest huts, and the most women. This sixth sense failed me, and I’m quite sure, I’ve never felt so ashamed. To the laymen, it may have gone undetected, but inside, I felt like most cats do, right after I pull them out of the washing machine. You know what I mean.
2. In N Out is better, the more you eat it.
I had my first In N Out burger, in 1992. And to be honest, it was a burger. I was told how it would change my life, and that I’d start searching for Real Estate before the onions were off my breath. I wasn’t impressed.
I didn’t go back immediately, until the last couple of trips. But even then, I didn’t know what I was doing.
But this time, maybe it was because it was 10:00 at night, and we hadn’t gone grocery shopping yet, and I was riding high on a $10 burger from the Wendy’s at the Vegas airport, but this time, it was heavenly. I have no idea why there is not an In N Out on every major college campus in out great nation. I wonder if they’d let me take that, and run with it?
Because, I be needing me a 2×4 Animal Style right about now.
3. Disneyland is nothing more than Six Flags, with all the cool stuff taken out of it.
Don’t get me wrong, I fully appreciate everything that Disney has done for this great planet of ours. They’ve brought us Mickey Mouse, Goofy, Britney, Justin, Locke, Sayid and Hurley. But for the love of pete, the park is average at best. There are approximately 2 rides worth riding, and to enjoy these rides, you need to wait a combined 90 minutes or more, to ride them, once each. You spend the other 6 hours of your day, walking around wondering why the heck you’re there. Now, I understand, it’s kind of like the Chuck E. Cheese of amusement parks. You overpay to get in, you overpay for food, and you overwait for everything else, all in the hopes you can get your picture taken with an oversized stuffed animal. The first time you go, it’s a novelty, and the opportunity to say you’ve been there. The next time you go, it’s to take people who’ve never been, because they didn’t believe you how crappy it was. The third time you go, you really should just have your head examined……my appointment is 3 weeks from Tuesday.
4. You can see snow capped mountains from the beach.
Look, maybe I’m dense. Maybe I’ve marveled at this every time I go there, and I just can’t remember, but I was really taken back by this. If I were to ever move to SoCal, this may be the single most deciding factor.
5. In California, I’m an NCAA Bracket wizard.
In my life, I have won exactly 1 tourney bracket challenge I have ever entered.
Until this year. Laying in my bed, in my cozy corner suite, I sorted through the regions and plotted my course for triumph, for 2 different contests. Here we are, on the cusp of the Final Four starting, and I’ve already wrapped up the title in both brackets. You may ask yourself, “What is his secret? What is his strategy? Is it something I could possibly emulate, or strive to be some day?” The answer to that last question is, doubtful. You just can’t bottle what I have. It’s just something you’re born with, and then it stays buried deep within the catacombs of your mind your entire life, waiting to be set free in the crisp Costa Mesa air. And then, on that magical Spring day, when the perfect storm of knowledge, ability and good fortune meet, you become legend.
So what’s going to happen next? Well, I’m not sure, my champion lost to Northern Iowa in the 2nd round. But this in no way, diminishes the excellence I displayed in those challenges.
6. I’ve got a good family.
I really, really enjoy hanging out with my brother and sister and their families. I love hanging out with my dad. What’s sad is, it takes a week in California to spend time with them, and they only live about 25 minutes away from me, every day. That’s just stupid. My kids and my sister’s kids seem to get along, as well as could be expected anyway. I don’t expect my 14 year old nephew to play tiddlywinks with my 6 year old, but there doesn’t seem to be drama nonetheless. So, this Spring Break, I learned we need to figure out how to get everyone together more often. And yes, it sucks that my mom isn’t along with us. But that’s a whole other topic, for a whole different day. You all will learn more about my mom, the more storytimes I write. You remember my mom, she’s the one who’s son was not there when she went to pick him up on that first day of school, in 1979.
Well, I managed to keep the slideshow to a minimum. I hope that was ok with everyone.
I think next time, we’ll see if we can get back to story time.
Until then, spread the word about this blog. Well, maybe not this one, but maybe one of the other good ones.
Thanks for your patience you 5 minute life wasters.