Top 5 Ways to a Happy HUSBAND (Yes, there are 5)

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A couple weeks ago, I laid out what I believed to be my Top 5 Ways to a Happy Wife. If you haven’t had the chance, give it a read after you make it through this one.

I’ve received quite a bit of feedback from that post. I’ve heard stories that some women are reading it aloud to their husbands, others are sending it to them by email, or text message. I’ve been “pinned” on Pinterest a dozen or so times. I don’t even know what that means, but from what I can gather, it’s not nearly as dirty as it sounds.

So as you can imagine, I’ve received more than a little grief from the men. amy and bo

Guys, this one’s for you.

Ladies, it’s only fair. You read the last one. You made your man read the last one. The least you can do, is read, then share this one.

So, here it is. The Top 5 Ways to a Happy HUSBAND.

Now look, I’ll just get this out of the way real quick. I know what you’re thinking. “Wow! This will be a short list!”

For most wives, they feel there is only ONE way to make their husbands happy. And for most wives, it truly is 5 minutes of your life you’ll never get back.

This is not about THAT. THAT’s a no brainer, and THAT goes both ways. But what leads up to THAT? It’s not just the women who deserve, or for that matter, require appreciation throughout the day. So here we go.

1. R-E-S-P-E-C-T

Studies have shown that the #1 thing men want from a woman is respect. But what does that mean exactly? This isn’t an “I am man, you will do as I say!” kind of respect. I don’t believe anyone, man or woman, want respect just for the sake of respect. Webster’s defines respect as:  “To feel or show deferential regard for; esteem.”  He wants to know that you value him above all else. His words, his thoughts, his opinions should mean more to you than anyone’s.  ***DISCLAIMER: THIS DOES NOT, NOR WILL IT EVER INCLUDE THE QUESTION, “DO I LOOK FAT IN THESE PANTS?” ***   Not fair to put him in that situation.

 

2. Brag, Brag, BRAG!

He may not tell you this, so I’m going to. He LOVES when you talk him up to your girlfriends, your co-workers, your MOM, your kids, your sister, your girlfriend’s husbands, the mailman, the kid bagging your groceries, the lady at the bank, his co-workers, their wives, their moms, his boss, his boss’s wife, and on and on and on and on. Is that clear enough for you? He may play it cool. He may pretend he doesn’t hear you, or doesn’t notice, but inside, he wants to feel 3 stories tall, and why shouldn’t it be YOU who makes him feel that way?

3. He wants you to be his cheerleaderkerri-strug

We’re men. We’re competitive. It’s what we do. In fact, there’s a decent chance that by the time you read this, he’s already competed in at least 38 contests at work today, most of which, are completely fabricated in his own mind. You may see him throw a wadded up piece of paper in the trash can, no big deal to you. To him? Here’s the conversation he just had in his head, “If I make this, then that means I’m definitely signing that big client later today! Ok, best two out of three.” You may see him just merely walking down the hallway. Nope. Here’s what he’s thinking. “If I get to that brown carpet before the secondhand gets to the 12, then that means I’m getting a raise.”

That being said, he needs someone cheering him on. I’m not talking about you in your high school cheer outfit, (That’s an entirely different list.) No, this is you being an encouragement to him. Not only are we competitive, we are ridiculous dreamers. And if anyone believes in him, it should be you.   In his mind, he’s Kerri Strug and you’re Béla Károlyi. He’s out there, ankle throbbing, the weight of an entire world on his shoulders, not knowing if he can do what is in front of him that day, even though he’s been trained his whole life and has proven to be pretty good at it. And you’re there, in his eye line, pounding on the mat, shouting to him, “YOU CAN DO IT!”

 

4. Prioritize

Chances are, there are 203 things on your to-do list, every day. We get that. We don’t doubt for one second that all 203 of those things are important and MUST get done. This is true whether you get up at 5am and go to work all day, or if your work is at home with the kids. Either way, we understand, we know you have a schedule, you have a certain way things must be done, or they won’t get done. It’s not about that.  All we ask, is that one of those 203 things on that super important to-do list, is us.

5. Understand, He’s gonna fail

We don’t want you to know this, but we’re scared to death. A lot of what we do every day is motivated by fear. I’ve already revealed to you how competitive we are. We use that fear to motivate us in the daily competitions. We don’t want to lose our job, our family, our home, our life, etc. The overarching theme to all of those fears, is failure. We’re afraid to fail. The only fear bigger than our fear of failure, is our fear of how you’ll respond to that failure. As a man, we see ourselves as the head of the household, the one who must succeed to make it all work. What happens if we do something that causes that to not work? We believe our wife and our kids are counting on us to NOT fail. But what if we do? We want to know you’ll still be there. We want to know you appreciate the effort. We want to know you love that we tried. We want to know that you understand that failure is a part of life, and we want you to make us feel better when it inevitably happens.

 

There you go guys, now she knows how to make you happy. But, before you get too high on the hog, go read THIS BLOG, if you want HER to be happy too.

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22 thoughts on “Top 5 Ways to a Happy HUSBAND (Yes, there are 5)

  1. Lia Gyore

    I try hard to do all these things, but a reminder never hurts because sometimes when life is hectic I forget to make him a priority, with only God coming before him. Most of the time though, I do pretty well. You know who that irritates immensely? The children. But I tell them, Dad was here before you and if I play it right, he will be here after you. We wanted children, and we are grateful to have you, but you are temporary members of this household. You will grow up and away, and we hope that someday you will have a husband/wife who will rank above us. So, deal with it, my loves. The glue to our family is the loving friendship between Dad and I. You are just the glitter – beautiful, but after a time will fall away.

    • Lia, you are exactly right. Once the kids are grown and gone, there better be a good relationship between husband and wife, beyond just being roommates. Well done. And thanks for reading!

  2. We already practice many items from both your lists, but we’ve been doing this for 17 years and counting. We didn’t have much guidance, so it took some hard knocks to get better at it. I know others said it, but I needed a reminder! I’m moving him up the priority list again, and looking for opportunities to respect and cheer for him. Thanks, you just made my marriage a little happier today! Definitely a 5 minutes well-spent!

  3. Nick Arden

    Bo, I know in my heart that I FAILED :(((
    In short, we are both immigrants from Communist Romania (sort or political refugees). Back in Romania, I worked as a physician for 25 years. Suffered political persecution and even imprisonment for one year for accepting a carton of American Kent cigarettes as a gift (they said it was a “bribe (!)”. I convinced my wife and daughter to leave Romania for good and I promised to continue my career as a doctor in the US. But …it was a little too late, a little to hard for me, at my age of 54. I never got my dream fulfilled.
    While I struggled for my licence, my dear wife was an angel from heaven and she was the provider of the house. When I failed, she did not punch me in my nose, but she embraced me and said, It’s OK, honey. We’re going to live through this. Let’s be happy. We are in …America, remember?
    She made me happy, and this is my story, Bo and I want people to think of it.
    Thanks for reading. Good luck to you all.

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