Confessions of A Married Man: 5 Tips for a Happy Valentine’s Day. (HINT) If she shared this, you should probably READ it!



Hey guys, heads up, Valentine’s Day is this week, FYI.

I know it’s a trumped up Hallmark Holiday. I know you think it’s sole purpose even existing is to sell greeting cards, but that’s not completely true. On the other end of that greeting card is your special lady, who doesn’t care why she’s receiving love notes from you, she’s just happy she is. If you want to know if Valentine’s Day is a big deal to her, just skip it one year, see how that works out for ya.

To help you along, I’m including 5 easy tips on how to make sure Valentine’s Day starts well for her, and more importantly, ends well for you.

1. Buy her what SHE likes, not what TV commercials say she likes.

This is tricky. It’s easy to sit there on a February 11th evening and see a 1.800.FLOWERS commercial come on and be smitten by the idea of your special lady adorned in wonderful red roses you picked out over the phone. But, what if she likes yellow roses? Or tulips? Or gladiolas? Or daisies? Or, what if she is like my wife, and is budget aware, and doesn’t really like the idea of you dropping fifty bucks on such a temporal gift?

Get her what SHE likes. Granted, would she feel loved with the dozen red roses? Sure. But how much more effective a gift would it be, if it were her favorite flower? Especially if it’s something obscure like purple orchids or wild snapdragons from the strawberry fields she danced in as a child? Ok, I don’t know if the second option even exists, but wouldn’t that be awesome!?

2. Get her a card that says what you WOULD say if you could actually write out your feelings.

C’mon guys, you know what I’m talking about. We’ve all been there. We’re at the drugstore, or the grocery store, or if you’re really fancy, the hallmark store, and we’re standing in those narrow aisles, with greeting cards all around us, packed in, elbow to elbow with the other last second husbands with no clue which card would mean something to our wife. Down the aisle, you hear the soothing tones of Barry White or Marvin Gaye coming from an unsuspecting young husband who just unknowingly opened a musical card that’s blaring, “Let’s Get it On.” Word of advice, don’t get her the musical card that sings “Let’s Get it On.”

As we slyly read 93 different cards, being careful not to look too mushy to the other studly men in the aisle, these cards all start to look the same. WHAT DO WE GET?!?!?

My advice is keep looking. At some point, you will find the card that says exactly what you want to say. That’s when you know you’re done looking. HINT: It’s not usually the one with a cartoon of a man and woman in bed together on the cover.

3. Add your own love note or special touch to the card.

Yes, I know how you feel. You’re exhausted after the 17 minute search for the perfect words from some stranger that says exactly what you wanted to say, but you’re not done. While your wife will appreciate what some stranger(probably a woman) wrote to her, she wants to hear from you too. You don’t have to be Henry Wadsworth Longfellow to make it meaningful, just share a little “I love you”, or “I’m so thankful for you” to the note. Get creative, add a coupon for a foot rub or a back massage or date night or an offer to do the dishes. That will mean just as much as if you were William Shakespeare himself. HINT: Adding a coupon for an hour of “Joey Love” (FRIENDS reference) doesn’t count. It’s not about what she’s gonna do for you, it’s what you can do for her. (John F. Kennedy reference)

4. It’s a Holiday for Women, so treat Valentine’s Day like it’s HER birthday.

Let me reiterate, this day is NOT about you. It’s about your woman, feeling loved. You don’t need any more evidence than that first instinctual feeling you get when you hear the words “Valentine’s Day”. If you throw up in your mouth a little, that’s how you know. Your lady loves it. If she says it’s not a big deal, that’s only because you’ve never made it out to be. Treat Valentine’s Day like it’s her birthday, and you’ll give her something to look forward to every year. And tell me again why it’s a bad thing when your lady looks forward to a date with you again?

So everything you plan on Valentine’s Day, yes, I said everything YOU plan, should be planned with her preferences in mind. I’m sure she loves Mark Wahlberg, but it’s probably not a good idea to go see Lone Survivor as your Valentine’s date night movie. Take one for the team, bro. It will come back to you 100 fold.

5. Don’t wait until your drive home from work, on Valentine’s Day, to buy her things.

We’ve all done this. There’s like 8 cards left in the entire aisle, and 3 of them are “To Grandma”. You’re screwed. Don’t wait. You don’t want to come waltzing in the door, not so mysteriously 37 minutes late with a hand written card, a half dead white rose, and 12 bite size snickers in a paper bag. That’s not getting off on the right foot.

Oh, and I hope you have dinner reservations somewhere by now.

Ladies, how do you perceive Valentine’s Day? Am I out of line thinking it’s a holiday for women? Do you enjoy being pampered?

Feel free to share this with your man if you feel he needs a subtle nudge in the right direction.

Then, as a favor to him, you can go read, Top 5 Ways to a Happy Husband(Yes, There are Five)

I didn’t leave you out though, Top 5 Ways to a Happy Wife

*photo credit: Shutterstock


4 thoughts on “Confessions of A Married Man: 5 Tips for a Happy Valentine’s Day. (HINT) If she shared this, you should probably READ it!

  1. Yeah, it is a woman’s holiday. But it doesn’t have to be. It could be for both if the guy actually acted like he ENJOYS it. My boyfriend says that it’s stupid because you should be celebrating your spouse every day of the year. My response was ok so the days that you forgot to do that? Yeah, make it up to me on Friday. hahaha.

    If he were to get excited about what he had planned or got for me (regardless of how bog or small, expensive or corny it was) I’d be sure I’d try to top it and go even more all out for him. Granted, I’m competitive that way. *Side note- I got him paint balling for 2 and went with him last year. LADIES, that was a (bruised) WIN.*

    Basically, if a guy actually played into it and tried it could be a very cool holiday. Kind of like a second yearly anniversary.

    • Completely agree. In fact, once guys realize that making the day all about her, makes her more excited to reciprocate, they would really start to enjoy it themselves. Around here, Valentines is like a 2nd anniversary. And Mothers Day and Fathers Day are like 2nd birthdays. It’s a blast!

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