I’m taking a break from my usual nonsense, to bring you some unusual nonsense. Please watch, then consider donating.
And in case you were wondering, here is the original Lincoln Commercial I chose to parody.
Contrary to popular belief, being a parent is not hard. You can wake up in the morning, and as long as you spend the rest of the day keeping yourself and your offspring alive, you can consider it a success. In fact, it’s so easy, thanks to playstation, xbox and netflix, you can often parent in cruise control, from the other side of the house, especially in the summer. If you time it right, you can get in a couple of naps, a trip to the store, or maybe the movies, and they’ll be none the wiser. The summer can go by so fast if you play it right. Let them sleep till noon, throw them in their room at 9pm, BAM! The day’s over.
Well, that’s one way to do it I guess.
Hey guys, heads up, Valentine’s Day is this week, FYI.
I know it’s a trumped up Hallmark Holiday. I know you think it’s sole purpose even existing is to sell greeting cards, but that’s not completely true. On the other end of that greeting card is your special lady, who doesn’t care why she’s receiving love notes from you, she’s just happy she is. If you want to know if Valentine’s Day is a big deal to her, just skip it one year, see how that works out for ya.
To help you along, I’m including 5 easy tips on how to make sure Valentine’s Day starts well for her, and more importantly, ends well for you.
Thanksgiving. Hands down, my favorite holiday of the year.
But this is only true, because I’m a man.
My wife would disagree. That is, she would disagree that Thanksgiving is the best, not that I’m a man…I think.
Truth is, Thanksgiving is a completely different holiday to the man than it is to the woman.
I offer you, 3 easy steps to make Thanksgiving better for her.
I’m a father to two boys, 13 and 9. It was the youngest that asked me the question which changed the way I thought of myself as a parent. He was about 5 years old at the time, and it hit me like a ton of bricks.
“Daddy, have you ever smiled?”
I was taken off guard at first by the question. What could he mean? Of course I smile. Anybody who knows me may wonder if I’ve ever been serious.
The more I thought about it though, the kid was right. His perception of me as not only a father, but a person, painted a terrible reality.
Don’t misunderstand, on the surface, I’m a good dad. I don’t beat my children; I hug them, kiss them, and tell them I love them. All the things we think are the important parts of being a good parent. Obviously, it wasn’t enough.
I had to take a look at myself from my kid’s perspective. I saw 5 negatives I knew I had to change to positives.
As guys, we are programmed genetically to despise most of the movies that women love, and vice versa. I get that. My buddies and I are not going to hop in a car on a Friday, and go see if Hugh Grant or Patrick Dempsey or Channing Tatum or Ryan Gosling can get the girl.
But you know what? You know who women go to the movies to see? Hugh Grant or Patrick Dempsey or Channing Tatum or Ryan Gosling, that’s who.
So I started asking myself, why am I trying so hard to avoid learning from the men that women so desperately want?
Women aren’t programmed like men. They aren’t wanting these guys because they are sweaty, shirtless towers of man meat with dreamy eyes. Oh, they may think they do, but they don’t. Often times, there are other men in the movie who pass the eye test too, but the women don’t line up to see them.
The real reasons they fall for these mythical movie mountains of masculinity, are the 7 lessons chick flicks taught me about relationships. (SPOILER ALERT: I refer to the endings of some movies in this blog. If you see “Spoiler Alert,” you may want to skip that part. Most movies are older, and you should have seen them by now anyway!!)
A couple weeks ago, I laid out what I believed to be my Top 5 Ways to a Happy Wife. If you haven’t had the chance, give it a read after you make it through this one.
I’ve received quite a bit of feedback from that post. I’ve heard stories that some women are reading it aloud to their husbands, others are sending it to them by email, or text message. I’ve been “pinned” on Pinterest a dozen or so times. I don’t even know what that means, but from what I can gather, it’s not nearly as dirty as it sounds.
Guys, this one’s for you.
Ladies, it’s only fair. You read the last one. You made your man read the last one. The least you can do, is read, then share this one.
So, here it is. The Top 5 Ways to a Happy HUSBAND.