I’m taking a break from my usual nonsense, to bring you some unusual nonsense. Please watch, then consider donating.
And in case you were wondering, here is the original Lincoln Commercial I chose to parody.
30 Things a Beginner Should Know About NYC
The Big Apple. I don’t even know what that means. I guess it’s referencing NYC being so great, you want to take a bite out of it. I’m not much of an apple fan. I like donuts and pizza. That’s fine, we’ll stick with Apple.
On December 12, 2014, I took my wife to NYC for the first time. It was an eye-opening learning experience for both of us. If you’ve ever wanted to visit there, this list is for you. If you frequent there, or live there, maybe you’ve forgotten what it’s like to experience it all for the first time. Here’s your chance to see your city from the eyes of a beginner.
As guys, we are programmed genetically to despise most of the movies that women love, and vice versa. I get that. My buddies and I are not going to hop in a car on a Friday, and go see if Hugh Grant or Patrick Dempsey or Channing Tatum or Ryan Gosling can get the girl.
But you know what? You know who women go to the movies to see? Hugh Grant or Patrick Dempsey or Channing Tatum or Ryan Gosling, that’s who.
So I started asking myself, why am I trying so hard to avoid learning from the men that women so desperately want?
Women aren’t programmed like men. They aren’t wanting these guys because they are sweaty, shirtless towers of man meat with dreamy eyes. Oh, they may think they do, but they don’t. Often times, there are other men in the movie who pass the eye test too, but the women don’t line up to see them.
The real reasons they fall for these mythical movie mountains of masculinity, are the 7 lessons chick flicks taught me about relationships. (SPOILER ALERT: I refer to the endings of some movies in this blog. If you see “Spoiler Alert,” you may want to skip that part. Most movies are older, and you should have seen them by now anyway!!)
As usual, I write to you now from the cold dark of night. The sun, safely tucked away on the other side of the earth, waits patiently to mock me again tomorrow.
The sun is my enemy. I am a ginger.
Should this word offend me? It seems so derogatory. I believe it’s one of those words that society, as a whole, shouldn’t say. I can say it all I want, because I am one. But not you.
Maybe Gengro would be more appropriate?
To tell you the truth, that’s not even a word I was familiar with until about 5 years ago. I managed to live the first 35 years of my life, having never been called that.
Then this happened.
When I was a kid, you were 100 years old and 100 feet tall.
My world is what you told me it was. Your favorite song, was my favorite song. Your favorite teams, became my favorite teams.
I knew you were my hero, before I knew what a hero was. You were Captain America, Superman, The Incredible Hulk and Wolverine all rolled into one. That’s right, you were Captain SuperHulkerine.
Then, I grew up.
Sometimes, I like to write a note to honor a very special lady in my life. So, to change things up, this one’s about my sister.
You see, that’s funny, because now my sister thinks she isn’t special. So, for the sake of continual comedy, we’ll assume that’s true.